The gray sky hung low overhead while the heavy humid air clung to my bald head like a wet tight knit cap as I exited my vehicle early on the morning of Saturday, May 28, 2016, near the isolated back entrance of the Clarion Hotel in Milwaukee. The hair on my arms rose when I realized I was surrounded by incessant, spell-binding primal screams, like millions of jackals preparing to attack their prey. Spooked, I looked out and observed that the large hotel parking lot, void of automobiles, vibrated and pulsed like it was alive, and singing an eerie song.
I'm just a simple baseball card dealer who was getting ready to load some vintage sports cards into a hotel for my monthly card show. I was not prepared for any Hitchcock shit, I just wanted to sell a few Willie Mays cards, maybe buy some 1960 Leaf, then go home. No such luck, I observed that the parking lot was draped with large birds and determined the birds were zombie seagulls -- a huge mass of zombie seagulls. How did I know they were zombies? How else could I explain hundreds of seagulls on the ground and in the air above a landlocked hotel parking lot, with no beach in sight, on a large expanse of concrete located across from a major airport and along a highway. Aren't they called SEA-gulls because they are supposed to be by the sea? There was no ocean, lake, pond, river, creek, pool, puddle or any expanse of water whatsoever here, so the seagulls had to be zombies!
I quickly stepped inside the hotel and into the Rembrandt Room, the location of the card show. No safety there, the noise from the seagulls seeped into the room. It was super creepy. I didn't know what else to do but to load my cards into the room and pretend that there was not a horde of zombie seagulls in the parking lot. When load in was completed, I was faced with the harrowing task of moving my car away from the safety of the hotel awning and out into the parking lot which was under siege by the multitudes of zombie seagulls.
For a second, a wild crazed thought popped into my head. I should gun the gas and fly the car into the middle of the seagull mayhem and send them into a fleeing death mass. When I came to my senses, I quietly drove to the edge of the parking lot and parked my car neatly between the two lines of the nearest parking space. My car was the only one in the lot.... a parking lot that was filled with masses of zombie seagulls!
I'm just a simple baseball card dealer who was getting ready to load some vintage sports cards into a hotel for my monthly card show. I was not prepared for any Hitchcock shit, I just wanted to sell a few Willie Mays cards, maybe buy some 1960 Leaf, then go home. No such luck, I observed that the parking lot was draped with large birds and determined the birds were zombie seagulls -- a huge mass of zombie seagulls. How did I know they were zombies? How else could I explain hundreds of seagulls on the ground and in the air above a landlocked hotel parking lot, with no beach in sight, on a large expanse of concrete located across from a major airport and along a highway. Aren't they called SEA-gulls because they are supposed to be by the sea? There was no ocean, lake, pond, river, creek, pool, puddle or any expanse of water whatsoever here, so the seagulls had to be zombies!
I quickly stepped inside the hotel and into the Rembrandt Room, the location of the card show. No safety there, the noise from the seagulls seeped into the room. It was super creepy. I didn't know what else to do but to load my cards into the room and pretend that there was not a horde of zombie seagulls in the parking lot. When load in was completed, I was faced with the harrowing task of moving my car away from the safety of the hotel awning and out into the parking lot which was under siege by the multitudes of zombie seagulls.
For a second, a wild crazed thought popped into my head. I should gun the gas and fly the car into the middle of the seagull mayhem and send them into a fleeing death mass. When I came to my senses, I quietly drove to the edge of the parking lot and parked my car neatly between the two lines of the nearest parking space. My car was the only one in the lot.... a parking lot that was filled with masses of zombie seagulls!
I figured this could go down in one of two ways: one, the seagulls would attack and rip me to shreds; or two, the seagulls would amass overhead and drop stinky, gross, gooey, wet poo bombs. I exited my vehicle, shivered at the mass of birds, and ran for cover. I made it safely but my car was not so lucky.
Once in the hotel, I talked with the manager Jeff, who informed me that the seagulls were in fact NOT zombies. Well, that was a relief. Jeff said the mass of birds were nesting in the parking lot and are protected by wildlife statutes. The hotel was handcuffed from removing the birds. Where is the statute that protects my car from bird poop!
Anyway, the sound of the seagulls could be heard inside the card show all day and sparked much discussion. We had a really nice crowd and I'm sure many had to wash their cars after the show.
I tried to ignore the sound of the seagulls the best I could while selling cards. I had a pretty good day. Jerome was there early as usual and purchased a nice pile of 1976 Topps baseball cards. Bill Nest did not set up because of other commitments but he made my day with a large purchase. Thanks Bill!
Once in the hotel, I talked with the manager Jeff, who informed me that the seagulls were in fact NOT zombies. Well, that was a relief. Jeff said the mass of birds were nesting in the parking lot and are protected by wildlife statutes. The hotel was handcuffed from removing the birds. Where is the statute that protects my car from bird poop!
Anyway, the sound of the seagulls could be heard inside the card show all day and sparked much discussion. We had a really nice crowd and I'm sure many had to wash their cars after the show.
I tried to ignore the sound of the seagulls the best I could while selling cards. I had a pretty good day. Jerome was there early as usual and purchased a nice pile of 1976 Topps baseball cards. Bill Nest did not set up because of other commitments but he made my day with a large purchase. Thanks Bill!
The guy who bought a pile of 1975 Topps at Gonzaga last week was back and purchased a bunch more. He also made a large purchase of T206s with Jerry. Jack found a bunch of football cards to send out for signatures. A new customer found a bunch of Milwaukee Braves from the 1950s. Quite a few guys dinked through my binders.
I sold a beautiful 1976 Topps George Brett to a customer. John purchased a Joe Pepitone autograph. We had quite a few kids in the room and they purchased 1980/1990s wax. Rob purchased a bunch of old hockey cards. All the dealers reported good sales. I sold a pile of 1971 Topps coins to a customer. We had a surge in attendance from the April show which was really nice and appreciated.
I went on a little buying spree. I picked up some Sports Illustrateds from the 1960s and 1970s. The magazines all had basketball players on them like Wilt Chamberlain and Dr. J. I bought a stack of 1976 Hostess baseball. I purchased a small stack of high-grade 1956 Topps baseball. I bought a large pile of 1960 Topps baseball cards. I rounded out my purchases with a stack of 1964 Topps that included Duke Snider and Harmon Killebrew. I could have bought more cards but ran out of money.
I dreaded having to go back out into the parking lot after the show. My car had large splotches of seagull poo all over it. Luckily, I didn't get hit.
After the show, Rob and I went over to the Nite Owl for some amazing burgers. Rob paid for lunch. Thanks Rob!
Up next is Madison on Sunday. It has been a few months since I visited Madison and am looking forward to the show. I just loaded 1978 Topps baseball and 1977-78 Topps basketball. I have also been busy pricing cards I purchased in Pittsburgh and should have some of those out on Sunday, June 6, 2016, in Madison.
I big thank you to everyone who came out to the Clarion on Saturday! Next one is approaching quickly on June 18, 2016. Hopefully, the seagulls will haunt another hotel that weekend!!
Pictured below are the zombie seagulls in the Clarion parking lot.
I sold a beautiful 1976 Topps George Brett to a customer. John purchased a Joe Pepitone autograph. We had quite a few kids in the room and they purchased 1980/1990s wax. Rob purchased a bunch of old hockey cards. All the dealers reported good sales. I sold a pile of 1971 Topps coins to a customer. We had a surge in attendance from the April show which was really nice and appreciated.
I went on a little buying spree. I picked up some Sports Illustrateds from the 1960s and 1970s. The magazines all had basketball players on them like Wilt Chamberlain and Dr. J. I bought a stack of 1976 Hostess baseball. I purchased a small stack of high-grade 1956 Topps baseball. I bought a large pile of 1960 Topps baseball cards. I rounded out my purchases with a stack of 1964 Topps that included Duke Snider and Harmon Killebrew. I could have bought more cards but ran out of money.
I dreaded having to go back out into the parking lot after the show. My car had large splotches of seagull poo all over it. Luckily, I didn't get hit.
After the show, Rob and I went over to the Nite Owl for some amazing burgers. Rob paid for lunch. Thanks Rob!
Up next is Madison on Sunday. It has been a few months since I visited Madison and am looking forward to the show. I just loaded 1978 Topps baseball and 1977-78 Topps basketball. I have also been busy pricing cards I purchased in Pittsburgh and should have some of those out on Sunday, June 6, 2016, in Madison.
I big thank you to everyone who came out to the Clarion on Saturday! Next one is approaching quickly on June 18, 2016. Hopefully, the seagulls will haunt another hotel that weekend!!
Pictured below are the zombie seagulls in the Clarion parking lot.
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